Weekends, we let the child watch TV and eat cereal while we sleep in. Give me a damn break, her every other waking moment is filled with constructive, developmentally appropriate social and educational opportunities. She sits on the couch and keeps up a running report.
DD: My favorite Power Ranger, the Blue Power Ranger, her real name is Sally!
Me: Which one is this?
DD: Power Rangers Ninja Storm! And also I watched Power Rangers Mystic Force.
Me: Do they still have that same boss? You know, the rich one in a big house, with the guy who helps him? (To husband:) He's hot. In that softc-o-r-e kind of way, you know?
DH: (In pillow) Mmph.
DD: No, their boss in this one is a hamster.
Me: A hamster?
DD: A hamster, a hamster!
Me: I'd like to see that.
DD: He's on now! Look!
DH: What does he look like?
Me: A giant guinea pig. In drag. He's a guinea pig drag queen. Gesturing at a flat-screen TV.
DD: He gives them their orders!
Photo: Rod Lousich, the hot boss. No hamster he, nor softc-o-r-e in the least, but a respected theatrically trained actor from New Zealand! From Operation Overdrive, probably used actionably.
PS: Mom is PO'ed, but comfortable. Racking her brains for something positive to make from it all.