Saturday, July 21, 2007

Get a Brand New Bag

Your right to rock an oversize, overpriced designer handbag ends where my 5-year-old daughter's head begins. Yeah, you in the line at the Bethesda bagel shop. And on the Metro. And at the DC United game.
You ladies don't watch where those things are swinging. And they swing right at her head level. So start watching it.
I never got the handbag thing. They're just a hassle. If I can't put it in my bra or a pocket, I don't need to carry it. Shrinks and dream books say handbag=vagina. Does this mean I secretly don't want a vagina? Sigh. Must it always come down to penis envy? I do know I can't ever be an "official" cougar unless I learn to tote a handbag.
I do have big sunglasses. And some important jewelry. That should count for something.
If I did get a handbag, it would be one of these.

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