Saturday, October 13, 2007

If Running Was Easy, It Would Be Your Mama

Have to bail on the marathon next weekend. Why should I spend my money limping through San Francisco when I can buy more yoga classes, heal my injury, and maybe learn to wrap my legs around my neck?

Keep hope alive.

I'd planned 8 miles today. Three miles in, my left leg folded. I decided to finish out the 8 just to get an idea of how it felt to run hurt, and if I could survive. I did it. I could probably do it for 26.2 on codeine and/or hydrocodone, and isn't it an indictment of our druggy athletic arena that I'd even consider it? Tsk tskafuckin tsk.

So w/o drugs, how did I negotiate the remaining 5 miles of hard road? Why, through a psychological technique called external dissociation. In layman's terms: Who Would You Do: The Crescent Trail Edition.

But as mamas everywhere say, sex can't last forever! In my case, it only lasted about five miles. If you really want to go the distance, you need a deep, sincere, lasting foundation of money, for massages, yoga lessons and personal training. Sigh. Keep hope alive.

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