Monday, May 12, 2008

I am an Animal, Trapped in Your Hot Car

I told myself no more big arena shows. I swore I'd never go to Nissan. So what was I doing circling the bowl with a thousand others trying to get into the Radiohead concert at Nissan Sunday night? Radiohead Nissan clusterfuck. Radiohead Nissan clusterfuck. Put that into google and it comes up 547 times. 548, now.

It was so against my better judgment, but my husband got tickets, and last time we saw them, in 2003, it was such a great we sat in the rain for five hours and never got in. The cops were turning people away at the gates because the show was almost over.

So. It's homegrown for me, from now on! Artomatic, parties full of homegrown music and chicks with flaming hula hoops, bottle of wine with a friend, a night in bed. I love professional musicians and dancers but you guys, your friends with the suits are just shits, buddies, I can't stand them, and they're always hanging around. I know you tried to get rid of them by giving your CDs away, but they're still there, hustling me, conning me, buzzkilling everyone. I'm all about the Home Entertainment Network now.

It's not the band's fault it rained so much! No, but it's their fault they played at the environmentally hostile Nissan Pavilion--especially after declaring that they intended to reduce their carbon footprint as much as possible in this tour. They haven't got a leg to stand on, and that footprint, after holding down thousands of cars idling for hours and contributing to acres of soil erosion, is shot to shit, boys. What have you got to say for yourselves?

Hey, the tickets said rain or shine! But Nissan and the county and state's civil engineering skills obviously aren't functioning rain or shine (in the area's venial rush to cash in on the development boom. As we sat in traffic, we wondered how many of the huge homes around us might be foreclosures now).

Well at least you weren't in Oklahoma or Myanmar! Gotta admit you got me on that one.

And, um, I don't want my money back. I just don't want Nissan to have it. Give it to the tornado survivors, y'all.

PS: The car I was in (with three others) was actually very comfortable. Poetic license.

PPS: And I might have to give up small club shows, too. Drive-by Truckers at 930 gave a great show Friday night, but someone grabbed my ass. Which was both annoying and confusing. I mean, there's just nothing much there to grab. What's the point?

1 comment:

Pam said...

Nissan was where, when I was a music critic, I crept up to sit on the hillside after my obnoxious neighbor's well-meaning partner said, "Honey, settle down. You're bothering the older lady." And I think the guys in the Red Hot Chili Peppers are my age.

It was almost worth it because the band was so good. Almost. But what a circle of hell that place is.