My Hot Friend E and I eventually made the scene for Santarchy Saturday night, but we actually ended up hanging out spending a lot of time talking about the future and the nature of love and happiness, including during a leisurely dinner at La Forchette (where I once was seated next to Christopher Hitchens, back when he was a physical wreck and I liked him better that way) in our Santa-ette costumes. Then we danced a lot at Heaven, where I really enjoyed a long, changing, strange mix of DJs. Mmmm. It’s been a long time since I’ve asked for a toy under the tree, but this year could be the exception.
We were cooling off in Hell when this lovely round man walked by, took a look at us, and burst out laughing—but not in a bad way. After some hugs, he ducked behind the bar (apparently he works there) and asked what we wanted to drink. E said “cognac,” which led to a long ritual involving trips to the back, two lighters and a pack of matches, but here’s how it went: He opened three miniatures, poured each into a snifter, then laid each snifter on its side, then ignited them one by one, doing a sort of swirly fire dance with each flaming snifter before presenting them to us. The whole time, he was giving a sort of diatribe on beauty, the importance of finding bliss during your daily work and life, and the ignorance of mixing cognac with Coca-cola. This was no Tom Cruise in Cocktail; it was voudoun god. Did I mention it was midnight? We drank, we ladies went to the ladies room, where we stood and looked in the mirror and laughed ourselves silly, and when we came back, he was gone.
Thank you, Santa.
Five reasons to watch the Elvis Costello talk show, based on the first one:
1. At least 20 minutes of props handed to Laura Nyro.
2. Tumbleweed Connection-era Elton John.
3. I’m thinking “who’s that guy on keyboards” and it turns out to be Alain Toussant.
4. There’s this songwriter I never heard of, David Ackles, who I now want to check out.
5. They just start and stop songs at random because they’re all really good musicians and they can.
It’s going to be sad when we’re all poor and depressed and starving and can’t do these kinds of things anymore. Santa, we need you.