Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Witch, Please.

Here we've got a superpower Mabon moon and we're talking about this Christine O'Donnell trash? This pretty much says it all, but of course I've got a thing or two to add.

OK, dear, witches aren't Satanists, for the most part, and Satanists aren't nearly as common in real life as they are in right-wing delusions. They aren't trying to recruit you or get you to do anything on their altars, from have a picnic to give up your second--or is it third or fourth--virginity. As much as you might long and wish and desire it, no real witch is going to try to overcome your reason and send you into a swoon you can't resist until you are one of us, one of us, in some bizarrely half-assed sublimated fantasy. I'm not going to come twinkling through your window. I don't twinkle, don't give the hard sell, and barely even say hello to anyone without enthusiastic consent.

Real witches don't recruit, unlike those odd Gothy kids down the road by the meth trailer you probably "dabbled" with, if that's what the kids are calling it today. They aren't really witches. They're just disenfranchised alienated jobless people who, if you were a decent politician, you'd be trying to make a better world for. A real witch group is at least as hard to get into as it is to convert to Judaism or Catholicism. It takes some work.

Real witches can be kind of grumpy and solitary and enjoy their own company and a few friends. I know it's a little harsh, Christine, but we're just not that interested in you. Sorry.

We are interested in civil rights, however, so I guess that means we'll have to deal with your crap til someone gives you a Forever 21 gift card and you get distracted and lose interest in politics.

I was actually pissed that Bill Maher kept giving her airtime, but he's a sucker for attractive wackjobs, and I can't really blame him. It didn't surprise me that Sarah Palin got behind her, because she's such a spooky little narcissist that she'd have to fall in love with her clone. Cloned right down to spending the money misguided people donated to her campaign, trusting she'd use it to try to get things done that they wanted, on any shiny thing that she wants right now, right now, because she deserves it, gosh golly darnit!!!

Photo: Loved this, and Donovan, when I was little. Jimmy Page on Sunshine Superman guitar. Season of the Witch was closing credits on To Die For, about yet another evil pretty bubblehead.


slothrop said...

You & Starhawk said it perfectly. Would that all our politicians were witches & warlocks. And your post was a great way to usher in Fall.

When I was 18 I had a fantastic creative writing teacher who I was convinced was a witch. (She eventually wrote a book about witchcraft.) One thing I'll never forget was the time she told us that there's 1 night every year when Autumn arrives, borne on an enchanted wind...& it's our duty to go out and greet it.

My love of changing seasons, rootsy kitchens & the natural world is at least partially due to her.

mark said...

Well, here's the thing about political correctness: you need to be a group of significant political pull (meaning voting power, or just really, really good at kvetching) to have any sort of political correctness applied to you. Unfortunately, that also means any sort of decency applied to you by society at large. The PC climate has blurred the lines between decency and kvetching.)

But how many people do you need to be qualified as a "group"? 3? 20? 217? Before the most liberal among us take to the streets and call their senators and write Internet screeds inciting a massive guilt trip? (I am damn sure it's not 1 person, because I'm living proof that the PC group group gets all the attention in America, not the individual. Which I believe is contrary to the ideals behind this nation, but that's another topic.)

Sorry to say, but witches are just not populous and sexy enough for this society to take ya'll seriously.

But I've got your back, s. No matter how curmudgeonly I may sound at times, I always will.